2/20/17

WEEKEND RECAP

This weekend we had one of the biggest rain storms I've seen since I was a little girl. It was craaaaazy. Cars were going all over the roads, trees were falling down all over the place & it was pure chaos. I love a good rain storm but this one was pretty wild! During a mini break in the storm the boys & I headed to a friends house so that our kids could entertain each other, cause kids on rainy days are probably the hardest to deal with. Any one else have this feeling? It's like they know you can't do anything & that you're willing to cave at any of their requests just so they don't have a melt down... or maybe that's just my kid, either way, it's better when they have friends to entertain them & when the adults have a friend they can talk to, too! We went over there in the morning & stayed probably longer than we were welcome because of the crazy storm, I didn't want to brave driving in the rain.



By night the storm lightened up & after the boys were in bed Austin & I went out for a dessert date while my mama watched over the boys for us. It was so nice to have a little bit of time just the two of us, plus we went to 31 Flavors which I had been craving SO badly the last couple of weeks. They have the absolute best mint chocolate chip shake, no questions asked. 



Saturday Austin took the boys in the morning for our usual Saturday donut run & let me sleep in which was juuuust what I needed. I've been feeling a bad head cold coming on so I was craving some extra sleep. Later in the morning I went to Barre while the boys played at the little daycare they have there, it makes me laugh because Cedar really loves my Barre daycare. Anytime we drive pass it he asks: "can I go to class again with you & miLo & I can play while you exercise?" It's the funniest & for some reason I'm always surprised that he remembers where the studio is..
While I was at my class my sister messaged saying she & her family were going to Olvera street & we figured why not? Neither Austin or I had ever been & we had nothing else going on, so we got ready quick & headed down to LA & met up with them. If you've never been let me tell ya, it's a street full of Mexican goodies: shirts, dresses, shoes, food, toys, bags, etc. & amazing smelling restaurants. There were bands playing, carts with churros & people dancing, it was pretty fun to see. 


After Olvera street we decided to go to the Griffith Observatory, which I have been wanting to do for such a long time but just never have. The last time I went I think I was in elementary school, so it's been a while. Tip for anyone out there: DO NOT GO ON SATURDAY! It was insane! So crowded, it was wild. We drove up right at sunset & it was gorgeous, but we missed the sunset because of how crowded it was on the road & the parking was crrraaaaaazy but, we got a spot & it was all good. The observatory itself is such a cool building & then the views are breathtaking. The night view is really cool because you can see all of LA lit up & twinkling, I really loved it & am definitely planning to go back in the morning soon.


From then on the weekend was pretty mellow, my mom was babysitting my nephew who is Cedar's age, so they played with each other all weekend, Austin & I caught up on Girls, watched a documentary & watched Big Little Lies which is SO good if you were wondering. If you have HBO you really should watch it, I'm antsy waiting a whole week for the next episode. 

What did you do this weekend? 

2/12/17

REAL TALK // STRESSING OUT

 
Since becoming a mom I've realized that I have a problem with pressure, stress & anxiety. Most of the time it isn't over anything huge, just something small & trivial, but it hits me none-the-less. After I had Cedar I noticed I became more fidgety, every once in a while I couldn't calm my nerves & picked up a few nervous habits that I still haven't been able to kick to this day. After having Milo I noticed the fidgety-ness left over from Cedar was weighing heavier on me, it felt more like a weight, a pressure. I started to pay attention when I got this feeling, to how it made me feel, what was happening leading up to it, how long it lasted etc. & I realized that what I thought was just nerves was actually stress that lead to anxiety. The worst part of it all is that it doesn't just last a few minutes or an hour, but the feeling can last up to a couple of days. I feel this intense weight & I cannot calm down because of it, it just rides with me until it passes.. I get it over the strangest things, like being 5 minutes late for something, or not leaving when we said we would, or people looking to me to make final decisions on whatever, leaving both kids for periods of time was also a big stress for me. The weights as so heavy  on me that sometime I couldn't handle it, I would purposely try to avoid doing the things that made me feel this way  but I knew I needed to learn to get over it because they all happened on the daily. I couldn't avoid not leaving my kids or not making any decisions forever & I definitely couldn't avoid being late every once in a while, especially with two kids.

I hated the way that this weight made me feel & I really didn't want it to take over my life, I didn't want to let it get to that level & I didn't want this weight to effect my life further. I wanted to feel better for myself & I wanted to feel better for my family so it wouldn't effect them. This went on for a while after Milo was born before I started to do something about it. Some things have easier to move past than others, My husband & my mom helped me a lot (probably without knowing) by agreeing to watch the boys when I would run small errands, I needed to force myself out without both of the boys to get used to it & it has really helped, now this isn't something I stress about at all. Other issues have been harder for me to push through but, I have found that making time for myself & getting in tune with myself again has been the biggest help. After having a baby you are still you, but slightly different. You have this extra person to care for, to worry about, to love which is a huge change alone, not to mention all the changes that come with your hormones getting a bit skewed. The same goes for when you have two babies, you're just a little different from who you were before. I needed to get acquainted with my new self, needed to learn how I can best deal with the things that cause me stress, things that never an effect me before (the fact that I get stress from being late is comical, I was the queen of showing up late pre babies), not just for my own well-being but for my family as well. 

My first step in doing this was to spend time alone doing something just for me, Which has become working out. I really love to workout & to push myself but since I was so nervous leaving both the boys I put it off for longer than I would have liked. I would work out at home but what I really like to do are classes. I started to go to a Barre class last June or July & it has really helped me in so many ways, not only do I feel healthier working out, but I have more confidence & it gives me a full hour just to be with myself. Along with barre I made time to do yoga which has always been a favorite workout because it makes me feel very intune with myself. I started writing in my journal again which is one of the biggest helps & forms of relief for me, I've mentioned it before but journaling helps me to clear my head in a different way than anything else & helps me really put my thoughts & feeling into perspective.  & as of recently I've started meditating.

When I was pregnant with Cedar I took a class on Buddhism where we started each class by meditating for 10 minutes. I really loved it & got into the habit & carried on doing it for probably the first year of Cedar's life, but somewhere along the way I did it less & less till I stopped completely. I've recently picked it back up & have been using the app Headspace to do it. I try & wake up early to start my day with meditation to clear my head before going on with my daily tasks. I've noticed that the days I start with meditation tend to run a bit smoother than when I do it before going to sleep. Most of the time I can feel my anxiety building & meditating has helped me in trying to talk myself down before it gets too heavy. I can't prevent it completely, but being able to lessen my anxiety at all is a gigantic help. 

I don't want it to sound like I'm throwing myself a pity party, that's not what this is at all, it's therapeutic for me. This has been a struggle that I've gone through for the last year & a small weight that I have felt from it was keeping it in, for having a sense of shame for having this struggle. It has taken me a some time to realize I shouldn't feel ashamed of this trail, that no matter how small my struggle may seem to someone else, it is important to my life, to my family so it is important to work on it. I love this quote by Brene Brown: "What we don't need in the midst of struggle is shame for being human." It's impossible to ever know what someone else is fully going through & our judgements can make it that much harder, but who are we to judge? We are all human & all have struggles. It's easy to pass judgment on others, to wonder why they may feel the way they say they do when from an outsiders perspective their life looks perfect. We are all doing our best & it's important to remember that. 

2/6/17

WEEKEND RECAP

The weekend is oooooover, back to reality but not before a quick recap. This weekend Austin & I didn't get one night out but TWO & it was sooo nice. Austin has been working around the clock these days so it was nice to get some QT time with that qt (I had to do it). Truth be told, I have zero recollection of what I did all day Friday but it must not have been too exciting, Friday night however was fun! Austin & I tagged along with my mama & her friend to see the Dirty Dancing play at our local theater with some P.F. Chang's beforehand. Austin had NEVER seen Dirty Dancing before, I was totally shocked by that & I think he was pretty surprised at what he got into by agreeing to go to the play, haha. It was really fun & got me itching to watch the movie cause it has clearly been some time, so Sunday night we decided to watch it & we realized that the play was word-for-word the same as the movie haha, I thought something would have been different, but nope. Also, a little side-note: did you know that Dirty Dancing is set in the 60's? Have I been under a rock? My entire life I just figured Dirty Dancing was set in the 80's, you know cause of the hair, the clothes, pretty much everything in it screams 80's besides the cars, but apparently I was wrong. I kind of can't get over the fact that it isn't set in the 80's though.. Anyways.. 

Saturday was spent in pj's all day long for the babes, cause why not? Cedar & I spent the entire morning playing animals, dinosaurs, duplos & building SO many animal houses. Later on I went to a baby shower, came home played more duplos, did adult things like grocery shop on a Saturday & then Austin & I escaped the kiddlets for a last minute double date to see SPLIT. Have you seen the previews or heard about this movie? I'm not going to ruin it for anyone out there that has plans to see it, but it just really was not what I was anticipating. Moving on.. 

Sunday my brothers family came over after church to watch the Super Bowl & eat a lot of food. Nothing overly exciting there, I didn't think the commercials were that great this year &  Lady Gaga did pretty good but it wasn't an overly memorable or exciting halftime show for me, what did you think? I truly know absolutely nothing about football so I didn't pay attention too much, I mostly just ate & ate & ate. 
What did you do this weekend? 

2/4/17

ICE CASTLES

The ice castles were gorgeous, so, so pretty but SO very cold. I loved seeing them but I think I was the only one out of our family that did.. haha. Lets be real, if you have little kids there is a 50/50 chance that they are going to love it or totally hate it because you are taking them to an actual mountain of ice where it is literally freezing. Cedar was screaming when we got there because he fell asleep on the drive & then woke up to being freezing cold & getting so many layers put on. Milo was ok in the beginning, but then as time went on & he got colder he completely freaked out sobbing, crying, I felt so bad for that little babe. Luckily he & Cedar weren't flipping out at the same time though! Right around the time Milo hated it Cedar was loving it. There were fire pits, tunnels & slides throughout the castles so he was having a blast running around with his cousin Russy.