the waiting game.

i'm going to go out on a limb here & say one of the absolute worst things a doctor can tell you when you're 39 weeks pregnant, is that you're going to have your baby early.
& that's exactly what my doctor did last week.
i feel like i've been pretty good about not getting worked up & wanting & saying he'd come early, i was just going with the time the doctor told me. 
& then i go in for my weekly checkup & he says: "i don't want to get your hopes up, but i don't think you'll be pregnant by the time your next appointment comes." 
he obviously got my hopes up by saying that. i mean, when the doctor tells you your baby is coming early, you tend to believe it.
& if you're me, you think that you're going to have the baby any second after he says that.
but instead, here i am, two days away from my next appointment & no baby in sight.
i do have 48 hours left for it to happen, but i'm starting to think that it's just not going to..
& i'll have my baby a week late like every once else does with their first. 
it's a sad & hard thought to have after hearing he would come early.
but i have been having contractions, so there is a glimmer of hope still! 
in the mean time i've been doing all sorts of things to keep me busy. 
with school, going on a lot of long walks, hanging out with friends & family, cleaning the house & shuffling things around the baby room, going for hikes, trying to sleep as much as possible & catching up on some movies. 
i really can't complain cause life is pretty nice right now, but it would be a lot nicer & cuter if i had a little baby to hold. 

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