i can't believe milo has been in our lives for an entire month. time is moving far to quickly. he has been such a good & easy baby & i am so thankful for that. he loves to be held & cuddled, which i am totally loving because cedar was not a cuddly baby in the slightest, so this is totally new & oh so sweet. milo came out a thumbsucker & we have been trying to sway him away from that & towards a paci because i fear weening him from his thumb (anyone have experience with this? is it terribly hard or am i worrying myself for no reason & should embrace his thumb sucking? HELP ME!). he's a good sleeper, we put him down at 11 & he has started only waking up once in the night for a feeding between 4 & 5, then stays asleep until his next feeding at 8 a.m. & it has been so very nice for me. i couldn't breastfeed with cedar so we formula fed him & austin & i would switch off feeding him in the night so i didn't totally experience a lack of sleep. with milo i am trying really hard to be able to breastfeed him (this requires an entirely separate post) so it is only me waking up in the night & it has been exhausting! luckily i am getting more sleep now since he is sleeping so well. he has gone up in weight coming in at a total of 9.2 at his last checkup.

he has completely stolen our hearts. especially cedars, i keep telling austin that i hope milo loves cedar as much as cedar loves him, becasue i don't think cedar is going to leave him alone anytime soon.


Last week Austins parents & sister were able to steal away from Utah for a couple of days to come & meet little Milo. It was so fun to have them visit, especially because Austins sister is in the middle of moving to Boston & we won't be able to go to Utah before her move, so we were especially happy to be able to see her.

While they were here we are at our favorite restaurants in town, took cedar to gymnastics, & went to Santa Barbara. Once we were there we immediately posted up at the beach with plans to check out the town later but we decided just to head back after the beach because we were all tired. The beach can really take it out of a person! Cedar was exhausted from digging in the sand with grandpa & playing in the ocean & Milo slept in the warmth of the sun under an umbrella while grandma held him.


having a second kid makes life a little crazy. i wake up a most days smelling slightly like baby spit-up from milo's night feedings, i normally cannot remember the last time i washed my hair & i would literally have nothing to wear if it weren't for austin who is a saint & comes home from work & does the laundry, because i'm just not at that level quite yet. but one day, one day i will do the laundry again, i promise.

i've spent the past three weeks trying to find a balance in life again. balancing two kids can be overwhelming, it's as if whenever one needs me the other decides they need me at the exact same moment! our days revolve around milo's feeding schedule & trying to maintain cedar's normal daily activities so he doesn't feel forgotten or like his entire world is upside down. it's been a lot, but we're making it work & making it happen.

overall it has been so much fun with my two little boys, no matter how overwhelmed i may get it doesn't last long & it is definitely worth it. especially to see cedar with milo, it is seriously adorable. everything that comes from his mouth about milo begins with "awwwwe sweeeet miyo!" the words all drawn out in a super high pitched voice. cedar is always trying to help out, he's a great big brother. when milo cries cedar will try & get him a paci to stop his crying (often this leads to more crying, but it's the thought that counts!), or he'll say "mommy! miyo sad. need melk!" & on top of that, he is always wanting to hold/ see/ kiss him. he loves his baby brother.

there is so much more i am trying to balance in this new life, being a mother & a wife, trying to have a couple of minutes to myself etc. by the end of the day i am often so exhausted that all i want to do is sleep, but there is so much to do! & i want to be able to have some time alone with austin, even if it is only 5 minutes before i pass out asleep (happens wayyy too often lately!). i think i'm getting the hang of it though, & it has truly been three of the best weeks of my life. i would not trade right now for anything.


 our sweet little babe, milo thomas, came into our lives wednesday march 2, 2016 at 3:45 p.m. weighing in at a whopping 8 lbs 10 oz & 21 inches.

i had my last doctors appointment the friday before & decided to set an induction date for the following friday. my due date was february 28 (sunday) & i wanted to give my body the time i felt it needed to go into labor naturally, without an induction so i set it for 5 days after my actual due date. when my due date came & went with no signs of labor i was a bit disappointed, but in all honesty i had wanted him to be born in march the entire pregnancy, haha. my original due date was in early march & when it switched to late february i was a little bummed, i have no idea why. i simply liked the idea of march, so when he wasn't making his way on his due date i was disappointed but i was also cool with it. buuuut then i really started to worry he would come on leap year day! the idea of that just wasn't jiving with me, it would be fun & cool for a tiny bit, but ultimately you only get to celebrate your actual birthday every four years & that's just not fair. so i was really hoping that wasn't going to happen!

monday came & also went with absolutely no signs of labor. i even went to disneyland (crazy, i know) hoping all the walking might spur something on, but it didn't i actually started to feel him moving less, which is common when you're full term but it still worried me. tuesday morning i woke up early & still wasn't feeling him more that much so i decided to call my doctor & ask to reschedule my induction for earlier & luckily they were able to move it to wednesday morning. it was so strange going about the rest of tuesday knowing for a fact that i would have our baby the next day.

we went in to the hospital at 7:30 a.m. & got checked into the hospital, but for some reason i wasn't pulling up in the system which meant i couldn't get the pitocin or an epidural or really do anything, so things didn't get moving until around 9:30 when i was finally in the system. while they couldn't start the induction they still hooked me up to the monitors which gave me such a feeling of relief since i hadn't been feeling him move that much, to be able to monitor/hear/see his little heartbeat. i was already at a 3 when i went in but, we wanted things to get moving so i got pitocin & then the doctor came in & broke my water.

not too long after my water was broken i started to feel my contractions gaining more strength & coming quicker & quicker. i hadn't put a lot of thought into whether or not i wanted to get an epidural or not, but in the end i decided i did want to have an epidural & i am so very happy i did! after getting the epidural around noon, i quickly fell asleep (epidurals do this to me apparently, i slept for 6 hours before i had cedar after i got my epidural!) for about two hours. after i woke up we had a rush of nurses come into the room. they said it was go time & i felt so flustered & a little confused because the doctor wasn't there, i asked the nurse what was going to happen & it was then that the nurse told me that the baby's heart rate was dropping quite a bit & that i needed to have him soon & i could possibly have to have an emergency c-section. talk about scary. i was in shock, i really wasn't sure how to process everything. the nurses were still prepping for me to deliver asap, while the nurse monitoring the baby's heart rate was having me turn & move in different positions to help his heart rate & luckily it did, his heart rate started going back up & we were able to wait half an hour for the doctor to come before i started to push.

once the doctor came in it happened so fast. i literally pushed for two contractions, two! the doctor came in & got straight to the point, once my next contraction hit the doctor told me to push & i honestly didn't process that he was talking to me! it was all so fast but mid way through the contraction i realized he was talking to me, so i started pushing! with the next contraction i started pushing & then the doctor told me to stop pushing because the baby was coming on his own, & he did. two contractions, a few pushes & 8 minutes later, baby milo entered the world. i have to say my doctor was truly amazing, i loved him. once milo was out i saw the doctor holding him by his ankles & doing a sort of twirl with him before laying him on my chest, it all happened so fast, i wasn't totally sure what was happening. it wasn't until later when the nurse was wheeling me to my new room that she told me the umbilical cord had been wrapped around milo's neck & his arm, luckily the doctor noticed it & that was why he told me to stop pushing. every time i pushed it would tighten around his neck & that's why the doctor handled milo the way he did, he was trying to get the umbilical cord off his neck as quickly as possible & without us seeing it.

once little milo was on my chest i could not take my yes off of him. he was such a little ball just all nestled on me, all scrunched up still. he was adorable. the first thing i noticed was his hair, it was dark! near the end of my pregnancy i started to have the strong feeling that he was going to have dark hair & he did! i couldn't believe it when i saw him. not only did i notice his hair, but weirdly i noticed his finger nails immediately, they were so long & they really caught my attention the first time he held onto my fingers.

going in to the hospital that morning we did not have a name picked out, we had decided on the middle name which is in honor of my dad, but no first name. we had a back up name, but there were no other names we had completely agreed on. it was right before the doctor came in for me to deliver that we started throwing different names out & one of the names that we have both liked but for some reason weren't considering at the time was milo. as soon as i saw him i instantly thought that he looked like a milo, it just fit & that's just what i said to austin: "he looks like a milo" & that was that. milo became his name.

having a second child is such a strange feeling. i loved milo immediately so, so much but, at the same time he didn't totally feel like my baby because he wasn't cedar. it was strange to wrap my head around the fact that i had a second baby & that he was mine even though he seemed so different from cedar. as strange as it was at first, it is also the best being able to see them with one another, being able to see cedar interacting with milo & how much he loves him. seeing cedar walk in the room to meet milo was one of the best moments of my life. he walked in so shy, not really looking at anyone or talking, but as soon as he got up on my bed & saw milo in my arms he was so excited & so sweet. it is seriously heart melting how sweet he is with milo. everything cedar says is "awe sweet, baby milo" & it kills me. he has done nothing but dote on milo ever since he entered his life & i couldn't be more thankful, or proud, or happy about it & i pray that it continues. i cannot wait to see these two boys grow up with each other. 

welcome to the family milo thomas, we couldn't be more in love with you.